Thursday, February 10, 2011

A Good Listener Poem

When I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving me advice,
you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why
I shouldn't feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something
to solve my problem,
you have failed me,
strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I ask is that you listen.
Don't talk or do - just hear me.
Advice is cheap; 20 cents will get
you both Dear Abby and Billy Graham
in the same newspaper.
And I can do for myself; I am not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering,
but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can
and need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear and
inadequacy.
But when you accept as a simple fact
that I feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational,
then I can stop trying to convince
you and get about this business
of understanding what's behind
this irrational feeling.
And when that's clear, the answers are
obvious and I don't need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when
we understand what's behind them.
Perhaps that's why prayer works, sometimes,
for some people - because God is mute,
and he doesn't give advice or try
to fix things.
God just listens and lets you work
it out for yourself.
So please listen, and just hear me.
And if you want to talk, wait a minute
for your turn - and I will listen to you
Aurthur: Unknown
I read this poem when I was doing a workshop few years ago;and loved it.  I personally believe in that often it is very important for us to feel heard; we feel better when we feel listened to and even better when we feel understood. sometimes people aren't looking for solutions, they just want to get the problem out of their system by telling it to someone without the feeling of being judged. true listening is considered as a skill; it is very important to listen to people non-judgmentally, even in the body language and facial expressions. it is just listening but it is one of the most fascinating things. 
So what do you think, do you consider yourself as a good listener or do you know someone who is?!
Love,
Mania

2 comments:

  1. hi dear
    yesssssss,I really am a good listener,yohoooooooo :P
    vali bazi vaghta kheli sakhte,hoselam sar mire;)

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  2. ha ha; your comment made me laugh dear :)) yes your right, it is hard though cause sometime you end up being the listener all the time and it can be very boring :)

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